S&P 500
The Big Take
Thousands are waking up to a new reality
The true performance of altcoins is no longer measured in hype, community strength, or vague utility — it’s measured in catastrophic drawdowns and the collective suffering of their holders. The S&P 500 — Stupid & Poor 500 — tracks the 500 most brutally underperforming alts in the entire ecosystem, forming the industry’s most accurate benchmark for financial pain. Each token in the index represents a story of hope, delusion, and spectacular collapse, curated with the precision of a major financial institution. This is more than data — it’s a mirror reflecting exactly what the market refuses to admit. When you buy the S&P 500, you’re not buying potential. You’re buying truth: the truth that we all bought garbage, held it too long, and paid the price. Welcome to the index that defines a generation of traders: the Stupid & Poor 500.
WTF is SP500?
An index composed of the 500 worst-performing altcoins on the market. A precise measurement of maximum suffering. A diversified portfolio of terrible decisions.
The Stupid & Poor 500 doesn’t follow the winners —
it follows the people who believed too hard.
Welcome to the global benchmark of rekt.
95% of altcoins officially qualify for S&P 500 inclusion criteria this year. 📉
Analysts warn the median alt now performs worse than inflation-adjusted hopes and dreams. 🧮
New report shows investor coping levels at an all-time high. 😔
Experts have intercepted encrypted whale signals — and they’re all whispering “SP500”
Manifesto
Markets don’t fall all at once — they fall slowly, painfully, and with unwavering dedication.
The S&P 500 exists to track this process with institutional precision.
It measures fear, overconfidence, denial, and the inability to hit “sell.”
This index is not here to inspire hope.
It’s here to provide clarity.
A benchmark for the modern trader’s reality:
most of us bought high, held low, and stayed loyal far longer than logic suggested.
The S&P 500 doesn’t criticize the market.
It simply reflects it.
Chief Strategists Announce the Launch of the Great Underperformance Index
Built using the Downtrend Weighting Model™,
the S&P 500 selects assets based on:
maximum drawdown
rate of decline
community delusion coefficient
roadmap abandonment speed
liquidity evaporation index
This produces a uniquely accurate snapshot of altcoin performance.
For once, the numbers don’t lie —
they simply hurt.
Report finds alt volatility overwhelmingly biased toward suffering. 📊 Researchers confirm the median bag has never recovered. 💼 Financial advisors spotted recommending stable jobs over stablecoins. 🏦
IF WE COULD QUANTIFY REGRET, COULD WE FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE ALT MARKET?
THE INDEX MEMBERSHIP
Participants in the S&P 500 are more than holders
they are constituents of a market class defined by unrealized losses.
Membership in The Index is not claimed;
it is earned through experience, conviction, and historically poor entries.
The Index stands together.
Not because they’re right —
but because they’re consistent.
Ticker: $SP500
Supply: 1,000,000,000
Buy and sell taxes: 0%
Utility: Undeniable Honesty
